lose your "black & white" mentality people.

Some would say "Do not provoke your brother."
I would say.. "You're on to something.. lose your 'black & white' mentality & you might get something out of that."

Here's what I mean--> It's not a matter of "Do" or "Don't" ....

Let's resolve this--

Go ahead and provoke your brother. In fact, provoke your sister & your mom & dad & pastor & deacons even!.. Provoke them unto good works & righteousness. Provoke them unto peace, love, hope, virtue, charity, real living-- truth.

So then it's not a matter of what we are against, but what we are for. What we are for (when strong enough -- meaning .. when of God) automatically implies what we are against!

There are times when you have to also literally say it though, but I think you're getting my mindset here.. eh?

The word of God is not so weak that it cannot stand on its own power! It is both an offense & defense of itself. It is complete.. not lacking in any good thing.

And so, why must we feel the need to add & subtract to it?
We simply hinder it for a time.. and so.. hinder ourselves from real progress.

The Descartes fallacy- like soup w/o a spoon.

Well here I am. Or am I here? The paradox of existence, ah. And yet, I know that I am. But what part of me "is" & whose is it? and for how long & to what extent?

I mean, Am I here 100% occupied in whatever I do.. or am I divided in allegiances constantly.. even w/o admitting it? I should surely hope not, Christ did say that a house divided against itself could never stand!

I will say that this is tricky to even begin to talk about.. because we could get into the realm of walking in the flesh vs. walking in the spirit.. which could further break down. I don't want to do that now. I just want to examine one particular secular notion that is kind of relative to this whole idea. (but if you want to read on flesh vs. spirit-- look at Romans 7 & 8.. or at the Galatians 5 passage on the Fruit of the spirit.. or Colossians 3.. or Philippians 2 & 3.. that should paint some kind of picture for you)


I belong to Christ, 100%. And yet, I don't always live up to the quote: "I think, therefore I am." No offense to Descartes, but I find his quote disheartening. It doesn't finish well. Just because I think on love doesn't mean I love. Just because I doubt my own validity in the universe doesn't mean that the implied personal nature of that doubt proves my existence. Just because I think.. that doesn't do anything. The concept is really a fallacy to me. It doesn't finish well. If I had to compare its mode of thought to anything.. I would compare it to a big bowl of soup without a spoon. It looks really good, but you can't take it all in. You want to take it all in, because it seems tasty.. but you realize that without the spoon.. it is incomplete and will end up spilling on you and leaving you burned in the end.

Christ commands me to finish well, so I have to rework Descartes fallacy of thought process here. I would say, for the Christian: "I love, therefore I am."

In fact, I would take it even a step further and just say all of this--

You have heard the saying "I think, therefore I am." This is not enough. I now say to you "I love, therefore I am." If one wonders whether or not they truly exist.. their wondering alone is not proof of true existence. You have heard that it is, but it is not. Proof of true living is love, for this is what the Father seeks.


and then I would take it even farther by adding this--
Those who worship must worship in spirit & in truth. I tell you this-- Apart from love, your Father in heaven does not even exist.. for such is his very being.



Now Go read 1st John and then read John 4 and tell me that what I'm saying doesn't line up with scripture. I dare you. I want you to be like the Acts 17:10-11 people. Go examine my words. I don't speak of my own initiative, but of the Father. Even as it is written, why would a man seek his own perishable glory when he could seek the imperishable glory of the Father? Therefore, I speak of the imperishable glory that is of the Father.. that I might also partake of that divine glory (in due time).

P.S. -- The first few chapters of Colossians tend to speak really well on this idea as well.

cause sometimes you just need to make a kid's song into an adult's song...

& find that some things about child-hood are perfectly beautiful when transferred to adulthood.

WRONG WAY!

This is sort of a satirically "happy" sounding sound with an up-beat about the saddest thing ever. Yes, I wrote a paradox in song form. It's about knowingly & willingly rebelling against God & choosing other gods (that are not gods) to be God in his place... This song is about telling him that.. to his face... or you could look at is as a believers sarcastic take on other people doing so. There are certainly elements of both in here. If this makes you want to shoot me or call me a blasphemer.. then good for me. Here we go!



V1: Father, Father, Father believe us when I tell you..

We took the wrong way out &

Father, Father, Father mistreat us when we tell you..

That God can mistreat now &

I know, I know, I know it’s crazy to command you..

I took the wrong way now.

As example to all of my peers..

I took the wrong way out.



V2: Father, Father, Father believe me when I tell you..

that I’m an officer now &

Father, Father, I’m a policeman caught abusing

I’ve stole your position now &

I know, I know, I know it’s crazy to call you names

Like “pathetic & made up” & "bastard"

& I’m taking the wrong way out..

I’ll take the wrong way out.



{Chorus 1}-

So give me your number, & I will call the complaint line.

So give me your cover, & I will berate your marriage design.

So give me your number, & will call the complaint line.

Cause I’m always good at calling people, screwing up my years.



V3: Father, Father, Father believe us when I tell you

We are a strong race now &..

Father, Father, Father believe that we don’t need you..

Even thought we cry out in despair

See I know, I know.. I know it’s crazy to want you..

And to need you but deny your own right

to call us to love & not hate your design of light.



{Chorus 2}-

So give me your number, & I will call the complaint line.

So give me your cover, & I will berate your marriage design.

So give me your number, & will call the complaint line.

Cause I’m always good at calling people, screwing up all hope near.



{Bridge}-

To the common man it’s like “God” is “Dog” & “Dog” is “man”

& we’re picking up numbers to plot our own graves in the sand.

To the common man it’s like “God” is “Dog” & “Dog” is “man”…

& now man oh man.. I’d call you but I’ve cut the line again..

now my heart beat is dead.

DUM, DUM, DUM.
(I am dumb. We're all dumb!)



{Chorus 3}-

So give me your number, & I will call the complaint line.

So give me your cover, & I will berate your marriage design.

So give me your number, & will call the complaint line.

Cause I’m always good at calling people, screwing up my years.



So give me your number, & I will call the complaint line.

So give me your cover, & I will berate your marriage design.

So give me your number, & will call the complaint line.

Cause I’m always good at calling people, screwing up all hope near.



{Outro}-

So I’m taking the wrong way now, I’ll take the wrong way out.

So I’m taking the wrong way now, I’ll take the wrong way out.

So I’m taking the wrong way now, I’ll take the wrong way out.. Lord.

choices..

Choices are all around us. WE say that we want to have freedom. We say that we want to have innumerable, & unforseen options.. however.. when we get such moments of possibility we often only have confusion. Isn't this a strange anomaly? Isn't it so paradoxical? It is in such moments that we realize that with great freedom really does come great responsibility!!!

The more I know, the more I become a slave to my knowledge. The more wisdom I acquire.. the more I am ruined by possible answers that I must wade through in search of the one true answer to any given predicament. OH for the days of the 5 and 6 year olds that in any given situation only had two options: one = right & two = wrong.
Now.. one may = wrong & two may STILL = wrong.. but in a differing way.. or one may = right.. and two just = MORE RIGHT by virtue of quickness or general efficiency!

What is a modern example of such miserable choices that ruin. I will give you an easy one that is generally unnoticed: The bachelor. Also- The Bachelorette.

Can a man be ruined by a knowledge of multiple clear choices of love?
Can a woman be ruined by a knowledge of multiple clear choices of love?

I think the answer is yes.
How?

Well, this many options leaves a person evaluating and re-evaluating what love actually is to them. Now, it is not wrong for a person to clearly grow as a person into a realization that what they once deemed as love is not (in fact) love. However, what is the motivation for realizing such a thing? IF the motivation for this realization is a list of 30 people that you spend time with.. the your definition of love (by very virtue of the motivation that made you change it) is not going to be solid even in its newly realized state.

That definition would just change again given 30 different people to make you re-evaluate it again in a different setting with differing circumstances!

How obvious this must seem when it is stated out.. and yet it is the same in so many other situations and not just in love.

Sometimes we are better with only a few clear options or choices. Many choices may ruin a life... but only a few can solidify & uphold it.

Do you want to be the person with endless possibility and options.. or the person with only a few possibilities that are clear and concise as to truth & beauty?

There are many means to an end.. but only one end to a means.
The means of love are ever changing... but the end of love is simply.. more love.
The means and methods of dying are ever changing... but the end of death is simply.. always death... (and death only to be raised in newness of life *for the Christ follower* but still death must come first)

The means change.. the end has always been the same & will be.

But what about for the Christian, again?
OH yes.. it changes.. but yet is still the same.. in a way..

So then:

The means of love are ever changing... but the end of love is simply.. more love (which would make the end no end at all *another paradox*)
The means & methods of dying are ever changing... but the end of death is simply.. always death... (so then the death of death in Christ makes death no longer death but life instead!-- another paradox)

The means change.. the end has always been the same & will be (Jesus).
And so.. when Christ is involved even.. the secular notion still holds true in a way.. and yet Jesus changes it to have a new sort of meaning to it. So then the "ah-hah" moment is no longer an "ah-hah" moment.. but something realized from a series of previously collected bits of info & events & life learning.

Maybe this is why God is referred to as simply "I AM" in portions of the Old Testament. Hrmmm??? There is a beginning & an end & Jesus is to be both. And yet, he is also to be involved in the constant present ... not just the past and future (beginning & end). Maybe this is why community is so important? We wouldn't learn these things on our own.. but instead our collective societal efforts and talks and yearnings lead us to these things together.

So then.. would I rather have many many means when there is only an end of love or death? Wouldn't I much rather have only a few options (because the fewer options yield for a greater percent of getting it right and choosing love over death)?

However... our world is complicated.. and so.. we have an ever increasing realm of means.... from 1 billions to 2 billion to 3 and multiplied & squared & then cubed.
And still... the end result is either death or life.

-- No wonder Jesus said the way was narrow and that few would find it.
This becomes more true with each passing day of man.

-- No wonder James said that "The days are evil" & encouraged us to make the most of today while it is still called today!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting minimalism here. Knowing how to do things many ways is a good thing... but is there a such thing as too much? Solomon would teach us that there is! He had more collective people & wisdom & knowledge & wealth under his thumb than anyone in history!!!!

Most people today would also recognize this in the way that a man who learns several trades will usually not be as good at any one skill than another man who picks one trade and devotes himself entirely to it. There are exceptions to every rule, but generally this would prove true.

So is the choice a friend or enemy then?
Is my choice to choose making me a slave?
Again, this screams of paradox!

"How can freedom make you a slave?"- you say.
I say- "Freedom from what.. in order to do what?"

We have become so amassed in choice that our choice is to be free to choose but not to know or realize what we are choosing or why or when or how. (or even where or to what extent)

WE have become lost to the details. We no longer care about the sub-possibilities within the one best option & the one worst option. Instead, we opt for the 30 million options that sound good on the surface.. but yield no meat amidst the deeper details.

We have paralyzed ourselves amidst the choices of where to move next.
What if we chose to be still? Would our choice to stand still and reflect keep us from crashing our brains and lead us to a better understanding?

So then, we stand still now in order to think and decide more effectively... or we effectively decide not to stand still.. and in the process end up paralyzing ourselves from decision (ultimately to be stuck standing still against our will).

Ah, does the paradox end?
Does the question end?
Maybe my question ends where your question begins?
Maybe my answer starts where your answer left off?

So then, we require togetherness.
There is no I anymore.

The better statement is: Was there ever really an "I" or were you & I just under a false impression from our "Freedom" that wasn't really freedom at all?

You see, even Adam was never alone. You say, "Rick, he was.. before God made Eve." To that I say-- "God did say 'It is not good for man to be alone'-- BUT, he also SAID it.. proving that HE was with Adam all along. Adam was never alone. And so.. even in Adam's loneliness there was no "I". (not in the sense that we see "I")..
Adam was never truly alone. God didn't mean alone the same way we mean "alone". Perhaps we should line up our vocabulary with his? Perhaps we should line up our character with his? It is the only way to more properly understand and live out this whole "love" thing. It is the only way to rid ourselves of this community blistering, love ruining concept of what we describe "loneliness" as.

WE are not alone. WE were never alone.

There was community.. between God and his creation.. God and Adam even. There was "WE" from the very start.

Perhaps the most important choice is that of sight or blindness, hearing or deafness... out of sight we react and move.. out of hearing we react and do.

WE need to move.. and we need to do. And yet, we are (in large) not a nation of movers and doers. We are (instead) a nation of critics & contemplation. The problem is that contemplation is only "in theory"... and "theory" is called "theory" because it is not PROVEN in action.

So are we sending out the message.. by not being movers & doers.. that Christianity is only a theory? If so, then we are effectively telling the world that Christ has not been and is not being proven.. but only thought upon..

Isn't Christ more than this?
Isn't Christ beyond the realm of the mere mind?
Isn't he all encompassing?
Isn't he everywhere?

Well, thoughts can't be everywhere folks. Thoughts are limited to the mind.
So, we have a problem. WE have been putting Christ within the limited confines of our mind's "box" for way too long.

I don't have to tell you.. but I will..
we have a choice to make today...
and maybe that choice will lead to another..
and maybe the choice to make that choice will lead to another still...
and another.... and another...

Wanting you..

So I woke up late today. Most creative people realize that they either work best under the conditions of waking up early & thinking out things.. or staying up after the world is asleep in order to think out things. Sometimes I do the staying up late bit.. sometimes.. (though not much) I will also do the waking up early thing. However, today.. I just happened to not wake up til most of my classes were supposed to be done. I know, bad me. Shame on me. However, I used this opportunity (since my mind was fresh & unusually alert from the extra sleep). I picked up my guitar and played an E Major chord. I started strumming around with a finger picking soft, subtle pattern. These lyrics then came to mind. The idea is that of two friends & one wants to be more.. eventually it causes the needless loss of the friendship. There is regret & the man simply wishes for the woman to come back.. like a breeze to blow back towards him in comfort. However, in his wish.. he doesn't clarify.. So she ends up coming back like a cold breeze from the North in the winter-time.. a harsh bitter wind. He realizes he should have been careful what he wished for.. but in a sense still likes even her bitter presence more than her total absence. The end.


V1: Wipe this taste from my mouth

could you tell me I'm something... or anything at all by now

we could be friends but “more than this..” would always haunt my mind



you were the wind & I was the plastic pen..

used to compose a perfect, fantastic piece..

wind blow again & leave your breeze on my heart... oh oh..



{Chorus 1}-

& she blows south again....

from the north.. & it's a cold cold wind..

& she blows south again....

from the north to sting hearts of men...



V2: Wipe these tears from my chest

could you tell me it's nothing.. that life's not a mess for me

& we could be friends.. the kind that say phrases like “I still love you more”



She writes me again, but I'm not her pen..

to fit in her fingers & hold on to thoughts of when...

wind blow away the seeds of our yesterdays from my tattered heart..



{Chorus 1}-

& she blows south again....

from the north & it's a cold cold wind..

& she blows south again....

from the north to sting hearts of men... again...



{Bridge}-

& I swear I should have listened when everyone said that by now..

you should watch what you wish for...

& I swear I should have listened when everyone screamed in my ear...

but I am distracted...



& I swear I should have listened when everyone said that by now..

you should watch what you wish for...

& I swear I should have listened when everyone screamed in my ears..

but I am still wanting you here..



{Outro}-

come here...

ah, come here...ah



(please come around or just come near..

I'm distracted somehow & this could end badly now..



please come around or just come near..

I'm distracted somehow & this could end badly)



come here...ah, ah, ah..

come here...ah, ah ah, ah..

ah, Please come around or just come near.. I'm distracted somehow...

like in my dreams of falling...


please come around or just come near .. I'm distracted somehow...

like in my dreams of falling again.


****** P.S. -- I may post some kind of youtube version of this soon. I will load video on here.. if & when I do.

strange dreams & what they might mean or not mean lol..

So, who all dreams? Hopefully everyone reading this. I have a problem. I usually don't remember my dreams. Scientifically speaking, I know I do have several dreams a night probably.. I just don't ever have a sense of having them... or remembering them.. AT ALL! I wake up and all I know is the blackness of having closed my eyes & not being in a wakeful state for hours. Only seldom is this not the case.

Lately, I've had a few very very very vivid dreams.. in which the detail is so pristine and precise. I would wake up and be haunted by the dream for the remainder of the day.. or as with the two I am about to share... weeks.. maybe a month. These two have stuck with me (not unlike 2 similar "vision" type experiences I had amidst heavy prayer during the summer). I won't go into visions or dreams & whether or not they are truly spiritual or not. I used to not believe in the "Gifts of the spirit" even really. I used to not believe that some of these things were for today.. yeah.
I only profess what I have seen & heard & been a part of... the rest is a burden that rest on Jesus. Again, I'm not sharing "visions" here... as those kinds of things can confuse new believers & can also lead people into the false doctrines on such things that are spread by other non-Christian groups. While it is a good thing to seek gifts of the Spirit.. or to have them. It is better to know that Christ alone is sufficient for salvation & that everything else relies on that basis!

Dream 1 (this dream happened about 2 months ago)-- I am in what appears to be a large worship type center. I notice that there is an old style architecture that appears possibly to have just been made that way (so perhaps it's not really old, only designed that way). I see pipes as those of an "in house" organ attached to the wall. The floor is lined with a very red carpet through the isles that is bordered by hard-wood finish. I am taking a seat nearly 3/4 of the way back into the crowd, but centered so as to see what is going on up front. People are clamoring about at this point. Everyone is in suits & ties... plainly.. black & white. At this point I realize that I am also in a suit. For some reason this doesn't seem suspect to me even though none of the churches I've ever been a part of have held to this type of dress for all members.

Next thing I know, I'm praying in my mind. (I couldn't remember what I was praying amidst the dream.. I just know that I was praying). As I look up from praying two leaders of a church I have recently been a part of in MS came toward me. As the Pastor & worship leader of this church approached me, I wondered what it was that they wished to say to me. They both appeared very happy (but in a fake way) & they seemed to be almost inquisitive in their gazes even. The pastor grabbed my shoulder as I was seated & the worship pastor sat on my left & blocked me in so as to keep me from avoiding them. Next thing I know, the pastor is essentially begging me to tell him why I stopped going to his church a while back. (It then dawns on me (in the dream) that this pastor is wanting to know because his attendance has dropped off & he is searching for a way to attract large numbers)....


The pastor then begins imploring me as to what could have been the cause of my leaving again. I did not answer the first time, I simply peered directly into his eyes as a response to his question (as if to imply that he didn't need my words to know the answer that was before him). He then goes on to say, "Was it my teaching? Was it my sermons? Was it the language that I used?" At this time the worship pastor is chiming in as well asking me, "Was it the music? What kind of music would work more? Was it the style?"...

At this point I just looked at him and next thing I know I am standing up and walking toward the front as if to speak to a crowd. It was about this time that it seemed the crowd of people were no longer clamoring about, but instead.. seating themselves as if to hear something. I think I began thinking of repentance & itching ears & deception & everything that is not truth & how easily it clouds us & removes us from the direct path & will of God. I believe I was stepping up to speak on this. And this would (ironically) also be the answer as to why I left the church of these two leaders that were questioning me so intently.



So, this is the point where I wake up. I didn't know what to make of it. Was I a leader at some church and these guys had come to question why I left their church some years before? Were they present because it was a church leaders conference & I was set to speak or something? Either way, they were clamoring as to why I had left so that they could find out why others had left soon after me. They wanted a ploy to lure people back into their system of thought. They sought for me to criticize their methods but I did not. I don't know that I would have resisted that so easily in real life. I don't know that I would have just gazed directly into their eyes so that their own thoughts could judge their motives. I just know that directly after that.. I was about to proclaim truth to everyone in the building... hopefully to keep everyone else there away from & off the path that those other two church leaders had set themselves into ruin with. I'm still praying as to how & if & why & what this dream is relevant toward in my life.

Dream 2 -- (this happened about 10 or 11 days ago)-- I am bound by my hands, stripped of shirt & tied to a rather large tree (hanging by a branch so as to dislocate my shoulders (& I guess eventually starve me to death.. I don't know why they bound me to the tree). Anyways, I was apparently knocked out from pain or so they could bind my hands & place me on the tree. (again the ones that bound me never appear in the dream)... So, I start swaying to & fro.. trying to free myself from the tree somehow, I guess. I don't know why I would do this.. because having been there for a while it would only cause my shoulders to dislocate sooner.. maybe I was trying to speed up my death, I don't know. Anyways, I start singing to pass the time since I have no food or mode of good escape. I remember thinking to myself in the dream that if I should die on this tree, then I will sing to my creator until I go to be with him & see his face. It was not long after this silent thought of prayer & my singing... that the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life appeared through the distance coming out of a thick grove of trees towards me. The sunlight contrasted the limbs from which she entered my area and bounced off the locks of her wavy golden hair. I could not see her entire face at first, only a faint smile as she seemed to notice my swaying to try and free myself in rhythm as I sung to the LORD. I remember wondering why she would approach me (and smile at that). I mean, I was hanging from a tree.. singing to the LORD in anticipation of my sure death. Why would she approach me? Wouldn't she just think I was some whack job that maybe tried to hurt someone & was being tortured as punishment? Wouldn't she think I was just singing to the LORD out of some sort of drunkenness from the pain & hunger?

Regardless, she saw me & approached me. She continued closer until she was at the foot of the tree from which I was hanging. She did not speak, she simply sat her head upon that area where my torso and chest meet and embraced her arms around me. She smiled and pressed her face close as if to assure me that I was free even if bound by man's evil. In that moment, I no longer swayed.. or sang or cared for freedom. I was at the most uncertain point of my life.. and possibly about to die... and yet a stranger.. a beautiful stranger had loved me.. taking risks.. not knowing if I was dangerous or a lunatic... she heard my song.. she heard my cry to the LORD.. and she responded with love. She had made me realize that I was always free in love even when trapped. (Christ is love btw, so I was free in Christ!)


I still have no idea what that dream means.. or if it is significant to me. I feel like it most certainly is.. I just don't know the specific way in which it could be. I mean I know it is in at least the Biblical truth behind some of it.. but I just don't know if I know how & if other aspects of it apply to me. I know the first one seems to be more clear. The first dream seems to at least in part be applicable to ministry. This one may also.. I mean there is reference to being hung from a tree and facing uncertainty.. that certainly can correspond to the persecution of many in the Bible or even those in the world today. It could just be a comfort.. like the comfort from the stranger.. a message of peace sent from the LORD in response to my cries in time of need. It could be a glimpse to remind me of that when some tough time that is yet to come befalls me. I don't know.. it could be a great deal of other things to..

or .... both of these dreams could mean absolutely NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!

I do not think so, though. These 2 dreams have haunted my every waking moment.. they have come back to my mind amidst prayer.. they have come back to me during class.. they have come back to me during that phase of almost asleep but not quite completely asleep..

I just don't know.. but I wanted to share. If nothing else.. that was like a wild, allegorical fairy tale for you to read.. even though I believe it to be more.

As always, I am called to test these things.. yes.. everything.. even dreams.. and to hold fast to what is true. So, I will do just that. Kbye!