Secret of my soul...

Strip away my thoughts with all my fears so that all I seek is love
These thought of you slowly consume me, but am I running low on luck?

night turns to day and light turns to dark as we all turn back to dust
but in the moments leading up to this time I won't let my will stain with rust

you want the change so become the change then look me in the eye
it's the worst of times that brings the best to mind so I'll hold them close by my side

finding best in me is the best in you I've thrown off my disguise
and behind the mask is a greater love where a greater hate can't reside

We're broken now but it's not the end you'll meet me round that bend
and we'll cherish life, and we'll cherish love and I'll celebrate my best friend!i

t's not the poison I fear or death drawing near but the end of time with you
will we meet again in some other time, and expanse so bright and blue?

Still I'm dreaming now and I'm hoping dear that you can read this and draw near
but as minutes pass and moments wain I've come to notice you're not here

but If I were a hand then you'd be a glove and I'd fit so great in you
and as soon as we met your eyes would see that the secret of my soul lies in you!

Beauty (real beauty)

V1: there is beauty in this pain
for we all are one and you know we're just the same

but would you sell all that you hold to find this out?
or would you give up your pot of gold to fly through clouds?

pr-chorus 1: Cause we feel love and we feel pain
and we feel joy like the falling rain

we feel love and we feel pain
but we only feel joy when we hear your name

Chorus1: Lord if I fall I wanna fall like you did
With scars on my side and blood upon my hand
if there's beauty here inside of this soul
then the covering shouldn't have to look so clean

V2: There is a treasure amidst these fires
and if I burn for you, then LORD burn me alive

But would I sing true to you in a peacful melody?
Or would I run for my life and beg to be set free?

pre-chorus 2: cause we feel love and we feel hate
inside our world with a fallen fate

cause we feel love and we feel hate
but I only feel joy when you're close to me

Chorus 2: Lord if I fall I wanna fall like you did
With scars on my side and nails within my hands
if there's beauty here inside this soul
then the world is sure to try and kick it out of me

interlude: But you got back up after you fell
and you're rising through these hills with the voice of all I am
But you got back up and you told me I would too!
The pain last only a little while but this heart's forever true.....
This heart's forever true
This heart's forever true
beacause it's yours

Chorus 1 and 2: repeat one time each

(optional verse 3)- The king of all the nations with nowhere to lay his head
and it's my personal dis-affection that lead him to the end

still I sit inside this mansion with all these bones
awake but barely breathing am I a part of the walking dead?

Chorus 1 and 2- one time through

oh but Jesus you're still walking next to me
oh Jesus you're still walking next to me
Jesus you're the beauty found in me

{back story}-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Really this song is just about the way beauty,pain,love and hate are so intertwinned. We often times wish there wasn't pain but we never stop to think that if there wasn't pain then we wouldn't really be able to understand or fully appreciate love for what a great gift it truly is. The same holds true for hate...hate helps us to examine our own shortcomings even if often times we have to see something we think we shouldn't or hear about it ..or even be invloved in it before we realize this. I really believe this and I'm not saying hate is right or that pain is right.....I am not a masochist people lol. I am saying though that we can often times learn a great deal more from these things then we let ourselves and we turn them into untuchable things that we don't ever want to experience.....but if you don't experience these things in some way or another then your whole view of life and self is going to be skewed in a weird way. The song is about this but it's also about Jesus Christ. I mean, Jesus knew more about these things than anyone and I am willing to bet that the reason is because he experienced all these things to a greater degree than we could ever imagine.

[BEAUTY]- Jesus was the epitome of beauty even though he was homeless (that's where the whole bearded Jesus idea comes from) and the fact that he probably smelled....he had a heart for righteousness and so it didn't matter what his covering looked like ....after the cross he would no longer have this skin anyway!

[PAIN]- speaking of pain Jesus was on this cross, he was tortured, he was slandered about, he was blasphemed, he was mocked and humiliated! Jesus was not a name people spoke of proudly in many homes and places.....We get all in a fit if our friends do one thing that embarasses us, just IMAGINE IF HALF THE WORLD HATED YOU!!!!!

[LOVE]- Despite this mocking, humiliation, slander, blasphemy etc....Jesus died even though he could've instantly killed his executioners. Think about this would you go tell about God with the attitude that you ARE GOING to face this. I mean, Jesus not only knew about this but he was OBEDIENT TO IT! That took some guts my freind and he did it purely out of LOVE FOR ALL OF US.

[HATE]- if you've read this far you know all about the hate Jesus was up against and I am telling you as he did that if you are truly "in him" as a Child or Man or Woman of God then you will face the same hate...and that is SOBERING to think of ...you may face bloodshed, you may face death, you may face torture or humiliation for your faith....and if you haven't "resisted to the point of bloodshed yet" as the Bible tells us then be thankful! Don't gripe about these little sufferings you face in life because they could be a lot worse. If you do face bloodshed for the name of Christ however do not be afraid because this earth isn't your home anyway. You have a heavenly home, a home where the time spans greater than all the ages and you get to tell Jesus how great and wondrful his name is and you actually have time to express and show it because you have FOREVER TO DO IT!!!! praise God for that.

it is my prayer that the LORD may help us all to better understand how beauty, pain, love and hate really are related and how they work. Remember anything in and of itself isn't always evil. Pain can be good, our nerves sense pain to keep us from unknowingly exposing ourselves to danger. Hate in a sense can be good if we don't act out of hate itself. We should have a sense of hate for the things we know God hates. We all already know that Love and beauty are great and don't need a whole lot of explenation....we just need to learn what they are in God's eyes more so we won't keep defining them as the world does!

Take care...

Today I take this oath
Today I write it on my hands "I take this house of sand and throw it in the fires that won't end"

after all I've ever wanted only pain has come to greet me
but your sweetest deep relief was sent to show that your love saved me

The son has marked a timing in a very special place
and he's coming on his clouds and I can hear him call our names

be paient all you weary don't let your gaurd go down
even in the slightest times the devil comes to steal and drown

We once were in these cluthces we once were in this maze
where the frayed ends of sanity were clawing at all our faith

take care to love my son, take care to watch your words
take care to leave me room in your heart built for two

I'm coming back again, tell the tired to wake from sleepI'm coming back to face this tell the worn they're no longer weak

You've told the deaf and showed the blind my power
take care to learn my words yourself before the end brings you disaster

** I think I'm gonna revise this into a song....I just wrote it earlier today, any suggestions lemme know, happy to hear

fightstar-floods

FLOODS VIDEO


"you know we don't have all the time in the world so make the most of this"

This song in particular is talking about global warming and how in many ways we are making our own destruction.....hmmm if it sounds familiar it's cause humans have done it before and we STILL refuse to listen to our past and learn from it! .....makes me think of another fightstar song quote..."Just smile like the idiot you are....just smile"

yep, I think that sums up how naive we all are some times....the end.

if you should

happen to stumble on this then you should make your day better as I did when I stumbled on the awesome music of fightstar and the awesome parody/comedy/music venture that is "flight of the concords" man those guys are great :D

Father's day actually went well too! My dad actually seems to be trying to be a better father even emotionally since all of these medical problems have been going on with him lately. I guess realizing that no matter who you are you're still mortal has a big effect on people huh? Well, whatever the case I'm glad my dad seems to be finally functioning more like a functional human being these days. I've been praying for this day for years, I hope he keeps this trend up.....

today's note in foreign music

I don't know how deep all you are in the music scene, but I am DEEP IN IT. I am head over heels with music, I mean the kind of "head over heels" where it is the first thing I even look for in a Woman (good or bad as that may be haha!) anyways, I listen to probably the widest spectrum of music known to man and so I like to support the good lesser known groups and the indie guys still trying to make a name for themselves. Today I would like to shout out two group names to u

1) The swell season-
this is made up of the front man from "the frames" and one exceptional singer/piano girl :)

2) The frames-
Irish group front man is Glen Hansard....(if you've seen the movie "once" then you're already familiar with both of these groups without even knowing it ha!)

Good day to you all, Godbless!

Jared anderson- This is life

Brace yourself
This is going to take every part of you
This is going to make God believe in you
And you believe in Him

Pace yourself
Eternity is not a fairy tale
The in between can be your heaven
Or just another day in hell

Cause the road we walk is straight and narrow
And the times we have they're ours to borrow
So give a little understanding
This is life and its hell if you only live

Calm yourself
The fear that's in your heart must surely die
You always say its hard and you don't know why
Well welcome to everybody else's life

And lift yourself
You're bigger when you're on your knees again
Just look above and look within
Don't look around its all just been

Cause the road we walk is straight and narrow
The times we have they're ours to borrow
So give a little understanding
This is life and its hell if you only live,

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Give a little understanding
This is life and its hell if you only life for yourself

** This song is so beautiful, if you've never heard it then wait until you are just about to go to sleep and then listen to it, the truth and the subtlety of the amazing piano tones will ring clear even more in your mind. In truth life is hell if you only live for yourself....

God, food & love (spiritual blog series)

It is worth noting that:

"Why our brains may deny it our hearts know that love is proof of God"

"It is insanity to run from God and search for love"

....I think we have all been guilty of ignorance toward one of these above statements at some point in our lives....


having said that I want to tell you a story:

*(1) "This is the story of God: he pursues you with his love and pursues you with his love ,and you have perhaps not said yes. And even if you reject his love, he pursues you even still. It was not enough to send an angel or a prophet or any other, for in issues of
love, you must go yourself, as God has come. This is the story of Jesus, that God has walked among us and he pursues us with his love. He is very familiar with rejection but is undeterred. And he is here even now, pursuing you with his love."

GOD IS LOVE

GOD IS PASSIONATE....for love is never passive, but always passionate; and passion always leads to action

their is only ONE reason for God to come himself and it is because in issues of the heart, you can't just have someone else stand in for you*

consider these verses from Song of Songs-

"At night on my bed, I looked for the one I love;
I looked for him, but I could not find him.
I got up and went around the city,
In the streets and squares,
looking for the one I love.
I looked for him, but I could not find him.
The watchmen found me as they patrolled the city,
so I asked, 'Have you seen the one I love?'

Solomon is describing the desperation that comes when we seem unable to capture the heart of the one we love. I wonder if it ever occurs to us that God feels like this. But if God's love is immeasurable and unending, as the Hebrews describe him, how deep and profound must be his sense of sorrow and rejection. If anyone knows the pain of a love unreturned, it must be God.



{LOVE & FOOD}-

*(2)I am not sure if any of you watch competitive speed eating. any? Well, speed eating isn't really my thing either, but for Kobayashi it pretty much is the pinnacle of a Career, fun and in some ways life. Kobayashi broke hot dog eating contest around the world. In 2006 he ate over 53 hot dogs in 12 minutes to set a new world record! In 2007 he ate 63 and lost mind you! (the winner ate 66 just to let you know) Kobayashi is also the reigning champion of the crystal square off World hamburger eating championship and the glutton bowl, and the alka - seltzer US open of eating in 2005. Before Kobayashi eats he expands his stomach by eating large amounts of food. Every day he consumes around or above 6,000 calories and excercises to burn the excess fat off. Despite all the eating he maintains around a 6% bodyfat level!!! (just to note Kobayashi is aided by a medical condition called "gastroptosis" which allows his stomach to expand below his rib cage)

I think Kobayashi has much to teach us all about Christianity. Think about this, What would happen if we took in as much spiritual food as Kobayashi takes in phyisical food? Would we all just pop? How large is a "spiritual stomach" in the first place? Do we daily expand our "spiritual stomachs" in an effort to hold more than we did the day before? Is it a sin to be a spiritual glutton? What if we really did say to ourselves...."Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that come forth from the mouth of God." ....How much could things really change?? Hmmm???

ask yourself this:

"Are you hungry for God or are you full of yourself? What are your spiritual disciplines? Why aren't you praying, fasting and listening to God like you should? Do you ever even weep for the world?"

....The answers to these questions might surprise you, I know I surprise myself when confronted with accountability! It is amazing what we will do to try to justify the things that we say and do even when we know that we have no business lying to ourselves or pretending. (by the way lying and pretending only make your problems worse, just saying from personal experience)*

{To the point of things}-
If we stop to think about it once we secure the thought in our mind that God IS love we still have yet to establish what love is and what love is not! We still have to establish what the attributes synonymous with love REALLY are. I have been thinking about this and while this is just a partial list I believe what I am about to say will get that ball of intelligence known as your brain in thinking motion for a moment or two.


{God}-

God = Love
&
Love =????

PASSION
INTIMACY
COMPASSION
SYMPATHY
FAITHFULNESS
GRACE
ZEAL (dedication)
MERCY
FOGIVENESS
ACTION
(among many other attributes)

This blog will be the first of many geared toward What love is. We can attribute all above ten characteristics to God in their perfected form through Jesus Christ. In the coming days and weeks I will be breaking down these attributes and studying them in order to post more blogs so that you and I may hopefully come to a greater understanding of just who the person of God really is. (Also worth noting is the fact that God is not only loving, and merciful...but also the God of justice who hates unrighteousness) --I will be posting a blog on that subject later though after some recent heavy reflection on Jonathan Edwards' sermon "Sinners in the hands of an angry God"



***some ideas and or statements taken from Erwin Raphael McManus's "Soul Cravings" and Christian George's "Sex, Sushi & Salvation"